Whyyyyyyyyyyy????
So I found a decent guy on this crazy dating site. Cute. TALL! Witty. He does unfortunately live about an hour and a half away (of course) but not an alien. We've been texting back and forth and I was feeling giddy for the first time in a while. I will go as far as to say I was/am crushing on this dude a bit. Very surprising seeing as the other guys I've come in contact through this site are either vertically challenged, have strange fetishes or are just fucking nuts. Anyway, I had to figure out a way to inevitably fuck it up right? Don't worry. I'm really good at this part. So last night I went to my step-grandmother's birthday party at the old folks home. The only way I was getting through that shmooze fest was to consume copious amounts of vino. Which I did. Upon my return back to my house, I started texting my new crush. We texted about our family, Stephen Colbert, you know...the usual. Then my evil twin (who hates me) came out and started texting. Whaaat a bitch. "I'm thinking about calling you, Mr. xxxxxxxx. What do you think about that?" Really? I've known that this guy has existed for, like, a minute and I think the best time to talk on the phone is after drinking an entire bottle of wine? I am such a winner. Anyway...he responded perfectly with a witty one liner about how that was a negative ghost rider...obvious red flag for me to take it easy. It's all so clear to me NOW...but then...I thought, no. I should annoy the shit out of this guy until I'm really on his shit list: "I'm starting to think that maybe you sound like Peewee Herman." Way to stroke the ego Woody. Silence. Fast forward 10 minutes. Me again: "You asleep?" Him: "Yup. Watching the Daily Show" Me: "Your asleep but watching the Daily Show? That's commitment." (I can see how I was trying to be witty with that one, but being witty was doing me no favors at this point.) There were a couple more awkward exchanges before I finally retired the phone, but it wasn't good. I just don't know when to stop! I'm not going to pretend like this guy and me are soul mates or anything...but it's just funny how I shit on something that has potential and totally show up to work for a relationship that's going to emotionally kick my ass! Now here's the kicker...homeboy is my facebook friend and will most likely read this as he has read my other posts. What can I say? I'm ballsy...and I'm just a silly girl. I am who I am take it or leave it :) On another note, if you're reading this, and you dig it, please write a commentt or subscribe or follow or whatever. I will appreciate you for that fo sho! Alright, going to call it a night. Over and out bitches!
made the blog already? This is moving WAY too fast.
ReplyDeleteEither you're a really good sport or you just burned me on my own blog.
ReplyDeleteYou rock in your ballsy-ness. Remember, like I've said before, phone after vino should be no where in sight. LOVE you!
ReplyDeleteI think the drunk texting did less damage than writing this post did. Mark's right...I think this entry was a tad premature. What are ya' gonna do? It's material!
ReplyDelete1st things 1st. Responding to your own posts is something we have to cease immediately. Second. I love this shit. You just made my year. I hope you stick with it. Haywood, be yourself, you're awesome. Just remember that the unique and wonderful individual that you are isn't exactly mainstream. That absolutely does not mean I think you should tone it down (well maybe a little at first). I think the blog will give you a little free therapy and I know that I'll enjoy reading it. One of your best attributes is your honesty and openness. Anyway, I'm hijacking your blog now, so I'll leave you with this. You deserve the best. Sometimes you have to get out of your own way, but realize that you are a beautiful, funny, sweet and tall person. Many people love and support you, including me. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI think you're awesome and you can drunk dial me ANYTIME! ;)
ReplyDelete