Monday, January 23, 2012

Totally underwhelmed, Einstein...

So...I somewhat recently went out on a date with the kind of guy I like to call the "know it all." Or in other words, "good luck getting a word in edge wise" dude. Met him on the oh so reputable free dating site, "OK Cupid." Seemed like a good guy (don't they all from the confines of a computer screen). His profile mentioned his love of math which was only a slight red flag...aren't all guys good at math? Whatever. Anyway, all of his pictures showed him playing rugby and oh so seemingly manly. So imagine my surprise when I show up to my neighborhood pizza joint to meet papa Smurf?? I'm not picky on looks...I'm really not. But I've got one stipulation I like to stand by...and I would like it to be 6ft +. I mean, I'm 6'2 in 3/4 of the shoes I own. But honestly...was totally willing to look past that obvious breech in profile honesty. That was...until he began his endless moaning about how he was 20 times smarter than all of the individuals that have gotten the jobs he applied for. I don't know about you, but when I hire someone, my immediate response is not to email the candidate I DIDN'T pick, the IQ test results of the individual I ended up hiring. But that's just me. Anyway, needless to say, anything this man knows about me, has not a single thing to do with probing questions from him. It has to do with me hijacking the conversation when possible to say, " Oh I love football, my parents went to Clem..." that's about as far as I could get before inevitably being cut off by his entirely more intriguing conversation about math. Well...I was pissed. I bought a new dress, new tan booties, spent  several minutes on my makeup and many phone calls to girlfriends for pep talks. I should have just studied up on the movie "A Beautiful Mind" and start quoting math equations. What a douche. But just when I thought it couldn't get worse...BAM...the bill. And being the nice southern lady my mom raised me to be, I offered to split the bill. His response? "Yea. I got my half." Well thank you fake rugby Papa Smurf math man!!! I hope you choke on the leftovers you took from both of our meals. Lesson learned...don't believe everything you read on a dating website profile.

1 comment:

  1. Rugby boys are jerks! The only thing they love more than themselves are their silly ass teammates. Great stuff, Haywood!! Keep it up! -Acacia