Totally aware of why I'm single...



Yes. I am 100% aware of why I'm single. I hate rules. It's as simple as those 3 words. All of these rules exist that ladies should wait for the guy to contact them, or to make the first move... If I want to talk to a guy, I reserve the right to text him witty one liners while mildly intoxicated until he texts back. Or to leave a voice mail with random chatter about a conversation I completely contrived in order for him to hear until he calls back to tell me I "butt dialled" him and left the funniest message. Or to ask a guy for his number...so that he will undoubtedly be "butt dialled" or drunk texted. We are supposed to be a mystery. I get it. I get it because these same mysterious qualities are what make a guy intriguing to me too. And the guys that say "I'm sick of games" and lay it all out there, immediately turn me off. We all just like the chase. And if you're easy prey...siyenara! I'm bored...round 2. So why...when I know all these things...can't I apply them to my life and my dating world? I don't know...impatience I guess. I like immediate results. Results, that is, with a guy who can play on the thin line between "too much" and "just enough." I guess this blog is just to help me figure out how to play that same line. The more I'm writing, the more I'm enlightening to myself. I'm one of those single gals that give great relationship advice. I guess I'm pretty oxymoronic, but I've been a walking contradiction pretty much my whole life so I'm used to it. I'm one of those ladies that reads cliche girl power quotes and says to herself, "that's what I'm talkin' about!" then turns around and makes a joke at the writer's expense. I don't know. I think I don't want to be single anymore...but why? Is it because I feel like I'm at the age where I should be settling down? Is it because all 3 sides of my refirigerator is covered in wedding and baby shower invitations...or because children no longer repulse me? I really don't know...but I better figure this shit out before I wake up as one of those ladies I feel sorry for wearing lowrider jeans, a belly shirt and some serious leather skin issues at the bar. So...here in lies the trials and tribulations of my single life. Here goes...

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