Friday, May 18, 2012

Fifty Shades of Confused...




I am so sorry it's been so long my web chums! I've had so much going on! I started a new job which I LOVE!!

Speaking of new job, the girl I share an office with is an avid reader and turned me on to the ever controversial read, "Fifty Shades of Grey." Yep. I'm obsessed. While it is certainly racy; there are many ways to interpret the book and apply it to any relationship. In my opinion, it has to do with emotional availability and what you're willing to compromise to make a relationship work. I, personally, am notorious for getting consumed in relationships with unavailable men. Emotionally and otherwise. Sure, I have had a few flings with guys that are great on paper. Single, handsome, successful, funny...BORING. Now...to their defense...they are not ACTUALLY boring. They are just too available (Translation: they like me and will work and compromise to make a relationship work). The last guy I dated was great. I broke it off rather hastily and I feel terribly about it, but after the relationship before that when I let it develop and in turn ended up breaking his sweet heart, I didn't want to risk it. I knew the dynamics wouldn't work out. He even played the game to perfection. But I am entirely too insightful. I knew he was into me and too available and so I shut down. I wish I knew how to get over that. And surely one day I will when it is meant to be...when I find a man with the perfect ingredients and mix of availability with a slight challenge. Anyway...back on track Woody! The love interest in the book, Christian, has a thing with BDSM. (For those of you who don't know what that means...don't worry...I was confused on a couple of letters too: Bondage Dominance Sado Masocism). You're welcome. Anyway, this is the hurdle that Anastasia, the protagonist, has to conquer. It makes him appealing because it's a challenge for her to work to reconcile. I totally get it. She loves him, but he has needs she cannot fulfill and vice versa. For example: she cannot tolerate the punishment he needs to bestow upon her for his own sick psychological reasons. And in turn, he cannot offer her the organic kind of love she yearns for. In comes compromise. Easier said than done, my friends. I haven't finished the book, but in the real world, those two are incompatible. But he is the only one who makes her feel alive. So why is it that some women (myself included) cannot be satisfied with a man who has tons in common with them, treats them like gold and wants the best for them? This is the million dollar question. It terrifies me that I don't know if I'll ever be able to settle down with someone because of my reservations, but I have to keep having faith because I want the man I marry to be the man I am with for the rest of my life. I will keep seeking the answer my friends and I promise to report back.

Over and out bitches...

Friday, May 4, 2012

How to Tell if a Guy Likes You? Sleep with Him...

Thanks to the blog "Sex, Lies & Dating in the City" for posting the article by Dennis Hong. Be sure to check it out!


Yowzas! Some girls might be highly offended by this article. I, on the other hand, completely get his thought process. Basically, this single man blogger wrote an article about how to tell if a guy likes you. He was asked this question by one of his girlfriends and he jokingly said, "sleep with him and if he calls you again, he probably likes you." The rest of the article actually backs up this very tongue in cheek idea. I don't think girls should run around sleeping with every guy they meet, but he does have a point. Just sayin. Read it!

http://www.simonegrant.com/blog/2012/05/01/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-really-likes-you/