Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Top 5 Types of Crazy that Land Women in Spinsterville: #3: Party Girl Crazy (PGC)



Ok...for those of you who know me, I know what you're thinking: "Pot, meet Kettle...Kettle, meet Pot." I know this has been a perception some people have had of me before. And honestly, I don't think all party girl's deter relationships! Party Girl Woody circa 1996-2008, yea, total relationship deterrant. But I have learned to balance my party girl ways with my "keeping my shit together" life. I had to grow up. Do I unleash my PG at times? You're goddamn right I do, but I use all of the fun qualities of my PG and apply them responsibly (as much as possible...I ain't perfect) to my everyday life. If you've got a party girl in you, you can wave that flag when appropriate, but you have to have your shit together. If your PG gets in the way of being a contributing, responsible part of society, then you've gone from PG to PGC! Let me make the distiction of how PGC can fuck your dating life up:


GoodNESS! I have seen (and in some ways been) this girl a thousand times! You like to go out and party...why? Because you thrive on the attention from the other sex! Deny, deny, deny but you're only fooling yourself! PGC's are extremely insecure. You gotta get out there in your barely there, hoochie mama outfit, dance on the bar and make sure someone else still finds you attractive. At this point, you either become a tease, a sloot, or a cheater. (Depending on your relationship status). Now before I piss off party girls everywhere, let me reitterate that there is a difference between PG and PGC. But PGC's are all about getting their rocks off on another dude scoping out the merchandise (and getting completely bombed allowing them to forget their debillitating insecurities). C'mon, you've all seen'em. These are the same chicks flashing their tits and dancing on tables. And if they are attached and have made their men stay at home, guess who they're calling at 4am when their hair reeks of vomit and their slutty dress is barely holding in their tits? Their man! Yet when their man wants to go out without them...totally unacceptable. See this is where I want to reign in my PGC's and graduate them to PG's. You can still be a PG without flashing your tits, dancing on tables and losing all motor skills! Don't be that girl ladies! Men don't find this attractive! They just have an involuntary reaction in their trousers which starts making decisions for them and then their pants ask you to come home with them and then they wake up with the brain that's NOT stuck in between 2 balls and want nothing to do with you!Go out when you want to let your hair down and have fun for the sake of having fun! Don't let your attention seeking ways lure you from the couch to the bar just because you had a shitty day and want someone else to inflate your ego! If this IS the case, take a look at yourself and say, " I'm hot. I'm smart (well if you are...otherwise, just say you're hot) and know that you thinking that about yourself is enough. If you're sold on your awesomeness, they will too. If you go out with the sole intention of someone else reinforcing that, your going to work overtime to try and get these results and then you birth a PGC right there on the dancefloor. And the only thing grosser then a PGC being born on a dance floor is a baby at prom. Y'all watch Discovery Channel. PLEASE! How the F#@K don't they know they're pregnant!?! Anyway...moral of the story...you can wave that PG flag high and proud...as long as you do it knowing you're partying for yourself and all the party people that don't give a shit about your cup size or your gag reflex. You're welcome.

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