Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Top 5 Types of Crazy that Land Women in Spinsterville...#1: Picket Fence Crazy (PFC)

Ok...I'll admit it...some of these qualities do apply to me. However, there are many different kinds of crazy...Jebus there could be an entire blog devoted to this one subject! But over the next few entries I will run through the different types of crazies that can land you in Spinsterville. I'll also give my advice on how to modify this behavior so that you might at least get a day pass out of town. Take it or leave it. Just my opinions I've gathered from what I've seen and experienced in my 28 short years. Here goes...


This is someone who is OBSESSED with finding love. So clouded by the idea of a relationship and marriage and the picket fence, etc. that she is too blind to actually find it. A date with a chick like this could end with her naming y'alls first born. However, before you get all confident (MEN) thinking you can spot these chicks a mile away and avoid them like the plague...it would be irresponsible of me not to clarify that most of these ladies are way sneakier than that. I'd say 95% of these ladies are not going to throw out any red flags that will stop this relationship train before it leaves the station! Sorry fellas, but psycho pants could fly under the radar masking her craziness for quite some time before pulling out the big guns. She could be sexy, cool, totally gf worthy for the first 4 or 5 dates (give or take) and then BOOM! PFC  flies out like a ninja! "Are we going to define the relationship or what?" "We should move in with each other!" "OMG we should TOTALLY adopt a dog together!" You know where I'm going with this. Point being (LADIES), dudes don't like being rushed...nor do they like to feel like they are the last ingredient in a story line you've been building in your head since the days of Ken and Barbie. Go with the flow my sistas! I know it can be hard not to try and seek these things out. I get it. Been there. But you've got to think of a potential suitor as a building block. Just hear me out: you've got to find another building block (the man)  that fits with the existing building block (you) first ...before all the other imaginary building blocks of your dream life. Then once you find that, you can start to add on blocks that fit with the both of you. If you put all the other blocks in place before the man's building block, it will be very hard to find one that will fit! Think about it. Read it again if you have to. Still doesn't make sense? Well it did in my head and I'm really smart. No, but basically, if we ladies have our entire lives mapped out in our heads, it's going to be close to impossible to find the perfect guy to make our imaginary dream life come true. And furthermore, we're going to cut off so many other paths we could have taken. Whether it be a job opportunity, or a fling with an artist that you didn't risk because he couldn't support a family. Adjust your vision to maybe include someone that could possibly enhance your life the way it is NOW! Not someone who could enhance the life your dreaming and pouting and obsessing over. I know it's extremely annoying when people say, "You'll find it when you're not looking for it." I HATE THAT SAYING!!! If you are in your late 20's or older, it's very likely YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IT!!! So now that you're aware of my hatred of that saying, let me just say that I agree with my modification of that saying, "You're more likely to find it when you stop obsessing over it." Yes, you're still gonna get lonely at times and wish you had some companionship, but life goes on. Write about it or have a glass of wine or exercise or whatever it is you do to get your mind off shit, then live your life. The more time you spend crying to your friends or anyone that will listen about the fact you're single, the more time you are wasting that could've been spent having fun and laughing (which by the way is very attractive to guys...just sayin). Be happy with you and content with who you are and if the Universe throws you a bone, great! If not, do you really think the little time you have on this earth is well spent pouting and obsessing over shit you can't control??? Negative ghost rider. Get off that crazy train and live your life bitches!!! Wow...I really got off on a tangent there...you're welcome.

Stay tuned for reason # 2...coming soon!!! I'm out!!


  1. Love it! I'm you're biggest fan, Haywood! love your blog posts :) (from Jess)

  2. Ha ha! Love this! My crazy gets away from me sometimes and I need someone to grab a hold of my shoulders, look into my eyes and give me a good shake. I need a reminder of all the things I know and the kind of person (woman) I really don't want to be. Reading things like this...and men telling me I came on too strong...all help! ;) Thanks girl!

  3. I feel ya girl! Me too! Sometimes while I'm blogging I'll have an Epiphany! Super helpful since we all have a tendency to get a little crazy sometimes...