Woody's Single Life..

Yea you saw correctly. After picking the blog up again, I decided I needed some material for my readers. So, I logged back in and threw myself to the creepy wolves all in the name of my avid reader. Screw you...and you're welcome. So let's start out with suitor #1...let's call him Sleepy (if one of Snow white's dwarves was named deceptive, I'd go with that. But for the sake of accuracy, we'll go with Sleepy...which is also applicable). So Sleepy was younger than what I was looking for, but his profile was witty, he looked cute and I thought, what the hell. So we met in the parking lot of this hip bowling alley/arcade/restaurant/bar downtown and immediately I knew this dude was about to get friend zoned. I try not to judge...I really do. But homeboy had on plaid cargo shorts, he was slightly heavier (by slightly I mean much) and he had one of those motorcycle dude mustaches that look like an upside down U of messy untamed hair starting at his nose...just let tha

Thought you heard the last of me??? Aw hell no!!! Just been taking a little hiatus. But after running into a cool chick I barely know last night who told me she was an avid fan of my blog and wished I'd start it up again, I thought...shit...why not!? So...where to start? In the past year or so I've been spending a lot of time on sports blogs. I've actually met up with several of them and even dated one of them. I guess I'll start there. So...we'll call him Z. Z and I met at one of the meet ups that our site frequently has. This one was conveniently in Charleston. Z and a few other people ended up crashing at my place...I know what you're thinking: INTERNET STRANGER DANGER!! I would too if I were you but, it's not like that. Hard to explain,but just trust me. So anyway, Z and I hit it off I guess you could say and started up a long distance relationship. In hindsight, I think I was just really yearning for companionship and possibly I was just justifying hoo

I know I haven't posted in a while...story of my life. But I've had a lot going on! So please forgive me, pumpkin =) On to more pressing matters concerning my ladies who are deep in the dating scene and drowning in losers. Trust me, I've dated all types of losers and have found a mostly fool proof way to limit the time you waste on total tools. I call this post, "Woody's Guide to Dating." First Date: What you do on the first date is super important. Think about it. Do you really wanna be stuck waiting for your entree to come when you know after your first sip of water that homeboy is not your steelo? My time is precious, bitches. And if I can say one thing about a first date choice, it would be liquid. Always choose to meet for a drink or for a cup of coffee. That way, you can have one drink or one cup of coffee and have a totally legit reason for bouncing up outta there if Romeo's a total Daryl. You following me? Don't commit more time than

So...since I am on season 3 of "How I Met Your Mother" on Netflix, I can say that (hopefully) my writer's block/days of disappointing posts are over. I am on episode 17, "The Goat" that has been focussed on "The Bro Code." I always hear the term, "Bro Code," but very seldom hear the term, "Girl Code" anymore. I know it exists, ie: always hold your girl's hair back when she's bowing to the porcelin god, or don't date your friend's ex, but when you get past your highschool/college days, do the rules change? I mean, on "How I Met Your Mother" these guys/gals are late twenties/early thirties, but I've only heard discussion of the bro code. I tried researching girl code online, but I've just found video vixen wannabes talking about "never let your girl leave the house without a pedicure" or "don't be a hater." Really? C'mon. These are not realistic "rules" for girl c

Greetings bitches! Well I have gotten into lots of shannanigans the past 11 days!! It kicked off on Thursday 6/28 when I went to my mom's house for dinner and was surprised by 15-20 of my closest girl friends for my birthday. And I partied all weekend for my birthday including Monday (my actual birthday) and Tuesday (birthday dinner at dad's) until I left for Seattle on Wednesday for my college buddy's wedding. So needless to say, I partied the whole time I was there. So yea, my liver apologizes for not allowing me to write in a while.                                           But all this birthday chaos and wedding hoopla got me thinking. Even after seeing all the happily married/engaged couples...I realized I like my single life. I really do. And I don't think I'm at a place that even if I was in a relationship, I could really settle ALL THE WAY down (ie: marriage, moving in, etc.) I would get bored and complacent and want to pull my hair out (or th

Breakup... Sorry to invoke that inevitable physical reaction that the very word alone invokes in all of us. But it happens. In the rare case that you are someone whom has never experienced this awful, terrifying situation, kiss my ass. Oh and stop reading this because I want to strangle you. Thanks. Moving on...there are so many different kinds of breakups: the breakupper, the breakuppee, the cheater, the one cheated on, the abuser, the abusee, the list goes on. Regardless of your role in the breakup, the stomach flipping anxiety is present in all of us. Whether it's caused by guilt or betrayal or denial, we all have to deal with it one way or another. In this post, I would like to tell you my golden rules of what NOT to do after a breakup. You can thank me later. 1. DON'T OBSESS! Whatever you do, do not obsess...over any of it! Don't obsess about what the other person is doing, who he/she is seeing, underlying reasons for the breakup, where that person is hangi